"If I’m doing so well, why don’t I feel like it?"
In this episode of Coached Podcast, host Keren Eldad delves into the paradox of overachievement—how external success can often mask deeper struggles of dissatisfaction, insecurity, and inner turmoil. Using the tragic story of Brandon Miller as a backdrop, Keren explores how ambition, perfectionism, and materialism can trap individuals in what she calls “gilded cages.” Drawing on personal anecdotes, literature, and pop culture, Keren offers insights on overcoming scarcity mindsets and embracing true joy.
Topics Covered:
- The tragic story of Brandon and Candice Miller: A moral fable of hidden struggles behind a gilded lifestyle.
- How the pressures of overachievement create internal conflict and contribute to mental health challenges.
- Insights from Keren’s book GILDED: Break Free from the Cage of Ambition, Perfectionism, and the Relentless Pursuit of More.
- The Overachievement Paradox: Why outward success often leads to inner discontent.
- Shifting from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset for greater fulfillment.
Books and References Mentioned:
- Keren Eldad's Book:
- GILDED: Break Free from the Cage of Ambition, Perfectionism, and the Relentless Pursuit of More
- Get your copy at: www.KerenEldad.com or (BreakFreewithGilded.com).
- Matthew Perry:
- Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing
- Perry’s memoir, reflecting on his own struggles with addiction, success, and inner conflict.
- Truman Capote’s Swans:
- Inspired by the television series Feud: Capote vs. the Swans.
- Explores Capote’s relationships with high-society women and the metaphor of the swans—people who appear graceful but struggle underneath.
Themes Discussed:
- The Overachievement Paradox:
- How high achievers can feel trapped by their own success, leading to dissatisfaction and strained relationships.
- Scarcity vs. Abundance Mindsets:
- How scarcity thinking can fuel overwork and insecurity, and how adopting an abundance mindset opens doors to joy and freedom.
- Materialism and the Pressure to Appear Perfect:
- Insights into how outward success—especially on social media—can mask inner struggles.
Tools & Practices Mentioned:
- Questioning Your Worldview:
- Ask: Do I see the world as friendly or hostile?
- Shift from scarcity to abundance by challenging fear-based assumptions.
- Decision-Making Practice:
- In moments of stress, ask yourself:
- “Where am I coming from—fear or excitement?”
- If the feeling is fear, pause before moving forward.
Episode Highlights:
- Brandon Miller’s Story
- A tragic example of hidden struggles behind a glamorous lifestyle.
- Explores themes of debt, depression, and the toll of maintaining appearances.
- Personal Story from Keren’s Coaching Journey:
- A client hesitated to attend an Ivy League reunion due to societal pressures around financial success.
- The Importance of Self-Awareness and Inner Work:
- Identifying dissatisfaction and reframing success on your own terms.
Thank you for listening to Coached Podcast!
Stay tuned for the next episode in the Secret Thoughts of Superstars series.
